Sinking Into My Father's Sorrow
As a child I didn’t understand why my father would lash out
and then cool off and apologize,
an impending storm walking around my home,
willing itself to release its combust energy,
one day to the next he was battling a non-physical entity -
one who held enough power to control his body and his mind,
spreading this uneasy feeling to everyone in the home.
I didn’t understand why until I was in his place,
struggling with the same storm of my own -
surrounded by a darkness like the sky before it cries,
thinking therapy was a far-fetched idea and unattainable,
a short term solution to the long term problem
that was the way my mind works.
A simple chemical imbalance connects my father and I -
a bond that only we understand,
an unspoken look or a feeling in the air
tells more than any words could.
For this I am grateful -
a human who knows what goes through my mind like a telepath,
even when my emotions overflow like water over a dam,
causing devastation to all of those around.
And yet -
he loves me,
because I understand him too.
Kayla is a senior studying English and minoring in Creative Writing and Applied Communications studies. After she graduates, she plans on working in the editing field. In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, and binge-watching anime; but her favorite activity is hanging out with her cat Vesta. Vesta does not particularly enjoy her owner’s presence, but Kayla cherishes every moment.