Reflected In Glass
Note: Reflected in Glass is a poem about how addiction runs in families. Author knows firsthand that a child who witnesses parental abuse of alcohol is statistically more likely to also suffer from alcohol abuse at some point in their life. Such a strained relationship is difficult to heal yet is possible: we're more alike than we think.
Will I be like my father,
Drowning my sorrows in a bottle and pushing everyone away?
I look at my reflection and wonder.
Sometimes I understand,
Why he finds peace in whiskey and gin.
Is it the worst thing to feel numb?
Will I fall into his patterns,
Look at myself and see him,
the person I’ve become?
Will I wake up with scars I don’t remember,
become comfortably numb?
I told myself I’d be nothing like him,
But sometimes I contradict myself.
Nothing more than a walking contradiction.
I tell everyone they’ll be okay,
Put a smile on my face.
Knowing that I never will be,
And they might not be either.
I tell them they’re better than razor blades,
Lying and saying I threw mine away.
What's the truth when no one cares to hear it?
Ridley Zarate has been writing poetry since middle school. With stark simplicity, they often write about the more difficult aspects of mental health others avoid discussing. Current work on their first book of poetry brings them closer to realizing a dream: to see their work in bookstores. Five cats enjoy interrupting their writing process, and when they aren’t writing or posting to their poetry Instagram, @sleepysadpoet, they can be found reading or playing video games.