Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
But they should be red,
Yes, it is true.
Roses are red, violets should be too. Dahlias are often red, but not always. Poppies are quite bright when they’re red. Hibiscus flowers, best friend to the hummingbird, are most appealing when red. Anthuriums with their pleated, heart-shaped leaves are most becoming when red. Asters are a symbol of undying devotion but only when they’re red. Arrabona Red Celosia are obviously red and rather resembling of pine trees or bushy little tails. Chrysanthemums look desperate when yellow and should always be red. When roses are white, they’re painted red.
Roses are red, and so are clown noses. An embarrassed face is perceived to be red. A red face is perceived to be embarrassed. Acne is red. Anger is often associated with the color red. Love and passion are red. Blood is red, the corrective ink scribbles on an essay are red, and so are apples and lips and rubies. Dorothy’s slippers are red. A big button with a complementary caution sign that reads: ‘DO NOT TOUCH’ is most irresistible to touch and also red. Solo cups are red. A picturesque barn with a Dutch gable roof surrounded by maples and the hue of a setting sun is a scene painted with various shades of red. Twenty-six of the fifty-two cards in a deck are red. Seven of the thirteen stripes on the flag are red. Most flags include red. Communist symbolism is red. A tie with delicately embroidered paisleys is red, as are the paisleys, but in a slightly darker tone of red. A fire is red. A fire alarm is red. A fire extinguisher is red. A fire hydrant is red. A fire truck is red. An exit sign is red. Essentially anything that wants to steal your attention is the color red, including the majority of signs stationed outside of fast-food restaurants. Scarlet macaws and cardinals are birds of red.
I see red when I think of roses. I see red when I walk into a flower store. I see red when I walk into a Hallmark store thirteen days before Valentine’s Day, and I’m bound to see nauseating amounts of red six weeks before Christmas. I see red when angered beyond the point of retaining my capacity to reason. Surgeons see copious amounts of red on a daily basis; so do phlebotomists, EMTs, police officers, and crime scene cleaners. I see red at the grocery store. Three different stacks of three different shades: Red Delicious is a classic deep red; Gala isn’t quite as red because it’s also yellow, so it appears to be rather pink but nonetheless red; and the McIntosh that’s also referred to as the “Mac,” the national apple of Canada, unfortunately, shares its surface with hints of the color green. Raw meat at the deli is red. A stack of tomatoes near the lettuce is also red. Lettuce is not red. Cherry tomatoes are red; so are cherries, maraschino cherries, dessert cherries, Jell-O, chili peppers, strawberries, and strawberry gummi bears. I see red while staring through the windshield of my car: red lights, red signs, and red trucks. There is never a shortage of red while driving. I see red when I think of my childhood; the Red Power Ranger, the red Teletubby, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Elmo, the Flash, Larry the Tomato, the Crimson Chin, Mr. Krabs, and Zoidberg.
Drew Campbell is Marine Corps veteran and a junior in the Secondary English Education Program. He enjoys the outdoors, traveling, and all things adventure. He and his girlfriend are currently in pursuit of visiting all fifty states. Drew Campbell is also an advocate of wearing socks with sandals and holds a firm belief that comfort always trumps style.